In terms of “Self-Leadership,” clarity refers to the ability to see things as they are rather than through fear or past experiences. It means having a clear and focused understanding of your emotions, experiences and the world around you.

On the surface, this seems pretty straightforward. In practice, it is rather complicated. Human beings like to create stories. It is the way that we make sense of the world around us. Everything that happens to us is filtered through our lived experiences. This explains why two individuals can experience the exact same thing, but have completely different stories about the event. This is often seen in families where one sibling remembers one thing and another sibling has a story, about the same event, that is vastly different from the first. Each sibling has interpreted that event through their own lived experience. We do this without even realizing it so it can be difficult to untangle our thoughts, emotions, and experiences.

Clarity is often the result of curiosity. Consider the example given in the previous post regarding curiosity. My kids ignoring me or asking me to repeat myself was filtered through a lifetime of feeling as though my voice did not matter. Of feeling like the only way that I could be heard was to explode. I had a lifetime of examples where this was the case. And the anger that ensued was frustration that this was the only way to be seen and heard.

Curiosity allowed me to live with a greater sense of clarity. That friend in high school who pushed and pushed me until I finally exploded and yelled at her to leave me alone in the middle of a crowded hallway was completely unrelated to the fact that my 6 year old pushed back when I asked him to clean his room. That college professor who refused to listen to my point of view until I lost my temper and ran out of her office crying had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I had to ask my 4 year old to put his shoes on three times before he finally did it.

The ability to separate the past from the present and to explore the emotions that arise from various triggers allows you to live with a sense of clarity. It allows you to live in the moment, to see what is happening at the time and to respond appropriately and without emotional baggage.

Meditation is a great way to learn how to live in the moment. Meditation slows down the brain, softens the internal dialog, and creates space between thoughts. It is powerful because it allows the brain to down regulate the default mode network, lower cortisol, build neural resilience, and create micro-rest states. As you learn to create space between thoughts, you are able to pay attention to what matters in the moment and respond from a position of clarity.

What would it feel like to live with clarity? To respond appropriately in situations that have historically been difficult? What would that feel like in your body?