I was recently introduced to the concept of a life goal and in just a short period of time, it has shifted my mindset quite a bit!

A behavior goal is a specific, actionable habit or practice. It’s process-oriented, short-term, and within your control. (ie: workout 5 times per week)

A life goal is a broad, long-term aspiration that reflects your core values and overall vision for your life. It’s outcome-oriented and often not fully within your control. (ie: Live a life of peace)

I hate clutter. It overwhelms my entire system, makes me cranky and frustrated and often leads to shut down. The problem is: I have 6 kids so there is always clutter in my house. The counters are always the dumping ground, my room is covered in toys and socks and random stuff, some of which I don’t even know where it came from! I look around and feel totally overwhelmed. I know that I just need to get up and tackle one space at a time. Have I done that? No. My behavior goal for the month of May was: spend at least 5 minutes per day, cleaning 1 section of the house. That’s not even a strenuous amount of cleaning and I only managed to do it twice. I could feel my stress building the entire month. Not only is my house still cluttered, I totally failed at my goal, which never feels good. So by the end of the month, I managed to feel worse than when I set the initial goal!

My life goal is peace/stillness/calm. I was sitting here this morning feeling incredibly irritated and annoyed because I really did not want to clean; especially because there is zero chance that it will stay remotely picked up since summer break is now officially underway. What if I reframed my day with the following question: “What does peace look like for me today? What would it take for me to feel calm? What is something that I can do to help me feel peace and calm?” I realized that the answer was the very thing that was making me irritated, except I no longer felt irritated about it. I actually felt a little bit excited because if I put in a little work, even just 5 minutes, I will feel more at peace. And maybe I choose not to, for whatever reason, but then that is me admitting that maybe that is not the most important thing that I need to do to feel at peace. Maybe I need to read or play a game with my kids. Or in my case, take out the laptop that I got for mother’s day and set it up (a task that I had been avoiding because it felt so overwhelming). It takes away the negative feeling of failure and makes me feel more intentional about how I am choosing to use my time today.

What is your life goal? How do you want to feel each day? How do you want to make other people around you feel by the way you live your life? Peace. Joy. Confident. Authentic. Brave. Compassionate. What can you do today to move you toward that feeling?