In the journey of healing, many of us discover that we’re not just one single self — we’re made of many parts. Some protect, some carry pain, and some guide us. Internal Family Systems (IFS), developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, offers a framework for understanding these inner parts. At the center of this system is something extraordinary: the Self — a calm, confident, and compassionate core that leads healing from within. Self is characterized by what are called the 8 Cs — qualities that naturally emerge when we’re in alignment with our true essence.

Previous blog posts have outlined what each C quality means and how it can show up in your life. So you may be wondering: how do I get there? How do I get to the place where I am able to live from a place of authenticity?

The first step is to realize what is preventing you from leading from a place of Self-Leadership. We all carry Core Emotional Wounds, which result from events that occur during our formative childhood years. Now you may be thinking: “I had an amazing childhood. My parents loved me. They were great parents.” That very well may be true, but no one escapes unscathed. It’s not possible because parents are human-beings who are products of their childhood years as were their parents. Humans are imperfect creatures and even with the best of intentions, we cause pain, even to those we love the most. Sometimes especially to the ones we love the most.

Four core wounds include: I am not good enough. I am un-loveable. I am worthless. I’m not important.

This leads to feelings of shame, failure, abandonment, fear, guilt, trapped, unsafe, worthlessness, betrayal, unwanted, rejection, mistrust. These feelings are some of the worst feelings to experience. As a result, we have different parts that show up to protect us from feeling those things. These parts are referred to as managers or protector parts.

Protector parts include things such as: perfectionism, bullying, gossip, rebellion, defensive, suspicious, OCD, isolation, imposter syndrome, depression, anxiety, etc. Some protector parts are considered “fire-fighters,” which are more extreme protector parts that arrive when the normal parts are no longer working to keep us safe from those feelings. Some fire-fighters include: drug & alcohol misuse, disordered eating, rage, addictions of any kind